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  • Writer's pictureNir Yaniv

Being a Smash with the Ladies

It’s very difficult having a girlfriend. So this last friday I goes to a jam session organized by some friends, or maybe friends’ friends, for I don’t know them that well, but they are friendly and I’m friendly and who the hell cares, we’re all happy with it. So it’s taking place in that nice apartment, and the playing is taking place at one side of it, and the guests are taking place at the other. So I looks at the players on one side, and the host, who’s playing the bass at the time, gives me a big hello, and then I goes to the other side, nice people everywhere. I gets in and plays some piano and some bass, and then comes a girl to me and asks: “Say, d’you have a girlfriend?” to which I, being always as gallant and noble as you know me to be, says “well, yes,” to which said girl’s face falls and she looks very disappointed indeed. “Look,” says I, “I’m sorry. Din’t mean to hurt your feelings.” “Oh, no,” says girl, “it wasn’t for me.” “Plently of fine young good lookin’ lads here,” I says. “No, no,” says girl, “you got it all wrong.” “Have I?” says I, with a kindly smile. “Oh, yes,” says girl. “I’m the hostess. This is my apartment, and that bass player host is my boyfriend.” “Ah,” says I, kindly smile frozen upon my face. “I knew that. Er. So, why were you asking?” “Well, there’s this girl who asked me to check on you,” says hostess, “but of course, since you have a girlfriend, I won’t tell you who she is.” I was never good at guessing games. Like I said, it’s very difficult having a girlfriend.

And this last saturday saw the Vocaliens first show, in a tree-huggers’ party, somewhere near Michmoret. We were our own soundmen, and had a considerable amount of technical problems: two of our FX man’s FX units refused to work, the MC’s mic cable went dead, unsteady power supply did some very weird things to my own FX box, our Beatboxer’s headphones were set to a horrible volume, and we found the hard way that we must develop a coherent sign language, for one cannot talk and sing at the same time. It was a great show. It lasted about 20 minutes, but who gives.

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